inadéquat

Je suis inadéquat
Jamais assé
Jamais prouvé
Je tombe toujours a plat

Malgré les essais
Malgré cette quête de perfection
Malgré toutes mes intentions
Rien ne fait

Je prend la plume
Je lache le coeur
Je combat la rancoeur
Je reprend la plume

Je me bat contre toute cette idée
Que la passion ne peu durée
Qu'il faut se controlé
Mais mon coeur a moi est un guerrier

Et je ne controle pas
Ce que je ne suis pas
Mais je peux toujours vouloir
Entretenir l'espoir

Dans ma bataille solitaire
Ma raison dur comme du fer
Mes mon coeurs comme un talon d'achille
Et je me meurs tranquille

Et même dans la routine du quotidien
J'y vois l'espoir du bien
Si la passion est incorporé
Je considererais avoir gagné

Brisé la solitude

- Tu voudrais pas avoir un chien, me semble que sa briserais ta solitude.
- Pourquoi je voudrais brisé sa?
- Je sais pas, pour être moin seul?
- Non
- Ah bon!

J'ai quitté

J'ai quitté une ville pour me perdre dans une autre. À la maniere d'un objet perdue que l'on empile dans une boite pêle mêle sans vraiment croire qu'il sera trouvé. Je me suis isolé dans la masse pour camoufler la solitude. Une histoire d'amour avec une ville trop grosse pour moi, trop grande pour elle même et trop petite pour moi en même temps. Quand les gens se croisent dans la rue, quand il inter-agisse ensemble sans vraiment porté attention; parcequ'il s'agit d'un grand ballet chorégraphié qui n'a pas vraiment de solo. Personne ne connait vraiment personne. La douleur individuel perdue dans l'anesthésie de la masse. Je crois que je me suis perdue pour mieux me retrouvé, comme l'objet dans cette boite qui croit etre trouvé, mais qui au fond de lui sait qu,il y est pour resté. J'aurai choisi l'impensable puisque je ne pourrai pensé que lorsqu'il n'y aura plus rien. Pendant que je croise tout ces pietons qui vont nul part je me sens figé dans mon mouvement. Le coeur serré, plus que d'habitude et dans ma réflexion interrimpu je m'écroule en pleine rue, anonyme au milieu de la masse movible.

Radiohead - Creep

When you were here before,
couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel,
your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so very special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts,
I wanna have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
when I'm not around
You're so very special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin here?
I don't belong here, ohhhh, ohhhh

She's running out again...
She's running out
she run, run, run, runs...
runs...

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so very special
I wish I was special

But I'm a creep,
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doin here?
I don't belong here

I don't belong here...

sentence

L'innévitable comme une flèche
Lancé furtivement le mot me transperce
Le doute que je sens de loins
Que je connais puisqu'il fut si souvent mien

J'y vois l'incertitude
L'auto conviction
comme exécution
et les je t'aime comme lassitude

j'ai froid
J'ai mal
je me sens sale
pourquoi?

Et je veux pouvoir résisté
A cette destiné
Qui me condamne a la douleur
Et me plonge dans la noirceur

Ce temps qui passe
qui fait me tue tranquillement
l'amour don tu es lasse
moi me tue subtilement

passion ou es-tu?
je te vois, mais elle ne te discerne plus
je suis le résultat de ma conséquence
et me fait exécuté ma propre sentence

éclair du passé

Éclair du passé
C'est presque instantané
Le temps est gelé
une fraction de seconde figé

et je vois de loin
ce don j'ai pris soin
une pointe de fierté
rejoint mes pensées

une chaleur intense
devant cette nouvelle prestance
un sourire radieux
qui irradie de tes yeux

bête en cage

En-cagé comme un tigre au zoo
J'me suis trop trop battu contre les barreaux
Ils m'ont mis K.O.
Dans ma tête c'est le chaos

Mes sentiments qui veulent sortir
Qui de l'intérieur me déchire
Pendant que tout mon être tire
La pression qui bloquent mes respirent

Flèches anesthésiante
transperce ma peau, la bruyante
Hurle en silence d'une rage fumante
D'encore sentir qu'ils me mentent

Et je dors empoisonné
Dans un sommeil artificialisé
mes rêves trop violenté
pour pouvoir m'être reposé

Je bondis au milieu de mon enclos
seul et froid au centre du cachot
a l'extérieur j'entends; Ah comme il est beau
A l'intérieur je ne vois que laideur et sanglot

Light

From a desperate time
I've been swooped from under
Like a wind taking me
me; the sailboat

I've been stalled all this time
now finally moving
towards maybe hapiness?
Who knows, but the ride is good

When looking back on my past
All is lost in a fog of doubt
but when looking foward
I see, finally, light and ... future?

carefull

The sun fall in a lake of sorrow
Where is it that I found light again?
I can't remember where or when
Where is all the warmth been

Like a handfull of snow
In your barehand will melt
liquify in water
And what you were holding gone.

Time like a nemesis
Present like a unexsitant time
Always too late
Always too fast

Is there anything i can do
That will make it stop
That change that always happen
Where you stop being carefull.

A life like a facebook page.

A life like a facebook page. How many person you know had a problem with the ''friends'' in facebook? How many people were bitching about how impersonnal it was, how many time it took from their so called real life and how it was just articifial.

Well here's my life like a facebook critic. For all those humans that lives their life like a facebook page. What I mean by that is they essentially make a spider web of connection that they do call friends. Occasionally going on a drink with this one, going at the movie with this other one etc... Just like those 500 friends you don't know on your social network page all those persons you claim you know in real life are in the same boat. When you feel like you know them ask yourself why? Because you see them in real? Knowing is about truth, trust and conversations. Saying you have a lot of friends in life just because you know a lot of people has for me the same amount of value as a facebook friend. In all that count the number you can really count on when you trully need it, when it's not easy to be there for you when it's not just being there for 5 min. or for a day but when you have a long and painfull run to go before being okay.

Being social, that's why those network exist but being friends, true friends? It can be find only in their connection to other and no a drink is not a connection.

Hotage

J'ai le vague a l'ame
Ne partira-t-il donc jamais?
Est-ce moi ou est-ce elles?
Comment dire cette solitude qui s'installe

D'un plaisir pur
Jusqu'au zénith de l'amour
En descandant par le froid du doute
Et l'absence de connexion

Quand la vie me pousse
Je sens le vide sous mes pieds
J'ai peur de tomber
Et de ne plus me relever

Des mots comme des coups de couteau
Existe-t-il quelque part
L'onguant qui me guérira
De mon spleen grandissant

Je vois la nuit arriver avec un soupir de soulagement
Le jour se levé et avec lui mes apréhension
Les secondes passé comme un hotage séquestré
et mon coeur pret a exploser

Si j'ai raison j'ai tord
Et avoir tord me donne raison
Spirale irréversible
Comment puis-je finir par me/la convaincre

missing

The time fly by
Never so slow
As I watch fall the snow
by the empty seat that I stand bye

I see your smile in a distant city
But your eyes I can't see
and in that glass window
you can't see my soul is sorrow

I miss you
For me it's a first
that emptyness hitting me like a burst
and this lone wolf of mine don't wanna go trough

And you make me feel
like i've never feel
Everything is brand new
yuo made me again grew

Simple and passionate
Trusty and insecure
It's no suprise you made it
No wonder our love made me sure

I wish I could write you a book a day
Even then I don't think it would be enough
To show you just how much your my dream on a silver tray
And just how bad our time away is rough

From every details
To your all entity
I miss our fairy tales
And our love, so free

These words that I write
In hope you'll understand
That nothing is right
If by your side I don't stand.

Voyager par l'esprit

J'ai voyagé partout
J'ai tout vu ce que la terre avait a offrir
Gouté les meilleurs vins
Mangé les meilleurs plats

Mais rien ne m'a transporté comme tes caresses
J'ai vraiment vu le plus beau de la terre dans tes yeux
Tes lèvres valent tout les arômes
Tes mains valents toutes les saveurs

dernier soupir

Et le silence inquiétant
Qui pèse sur nous
dans la pénombre de nos non-dits
je vois nos âmes mourrir

Et moi qui te veux tant!
Te sauvé au moins sinon t'aimé
Comment faire pour te rescapé
de ce que toi même tu t'inflige

Dans ma prose je vois la vérité
que dans ma vie j'essais de cacher
Et j'essais encore en vain de t'aimé
Toi ma douce dulcinée

Et mes promesses qui pèse
Et mes désirs qui m'alourdisse
Je vois en moi l'échec
d'être ce que j'ai toujours voulu

Je mourrai peu être
Toujours cette question en tête
Quel sera le nom
qui glissera de mes lèvres dans mon dernier soupir?

variation of the spleen (again)

This spleen even in hapiness that never leave me
Forever, I guess, it will be part of me
This state of mind like a light rain at night
Like this beautifull paint with something not right

Ain't it funny that joy can be found in tears
That sometimes, the best way to smile is being stoic
From that deep place where no light ever shine
The biggest ray of sun can emane

Living body in a world not mine
For a head living in a time not now
Heart trapped in between those two
How can you ever feel not blue

Big high's for big low's
No middle for it's worthless
Being stable is not for me
I am born to be extreme

Quiet night of sleepless tought
Loud day's of sleeping conscience
I live in my head
In this spleen that make me beat

Judging

It come easy and without premiditation. It's a big trait of our society, judging everything and anything just for the sake of it, for the sake of talking. I know half of the time people mean well but what is trully hapenning in their mind isn't something good. Missing facts, missing circumstances and also missing neutrality judgement lead to tension. Inevitable all the time for it's the nature of conflict and conflict are created by different judgement. Neutrality is an utopia i'll admit that, does it mean that we shouldn't try to achieve it? I think that with knowing that it's an utopia we as a human race are force (due to our social model) to judge, but why is it so glorious to judge without appeal, so brutally and so irreversibly. I don't get what's so glorious about being sure because let's face it being sure of your judgement means only that your trying to convince yourself. ''She's a bitch, he's an asshole, she's so stupid and he is so arrogant'' No mather what you think of somebody there is always reasons (not excuses) for their behavior. That doesn't you should get along with those people it just mean that not because you don't get along they should fall automatically in the ''insult'' category.

Neutrality is an utopia that we should all try to reach because in the end it's the only way to give the right to the justice.

Imagine

Agressive!

Where does this come from? Why so much violence, in word in gesture. How come these clashes of personality... could it be possible that in that madness of society we forgot something. Is that possible that all the way around we were wrong about our own nature. I keep hearing the human is a social creature, but is it really? Or are we simply too far down the line to remember any other way?

Agressivness the way people fight each other over words, work, politics, religion... If we had to invent all those rules to live together how would it be without the rules and the organization, not talking about anarchy but simply talking about maybe not be so dependent on each other. Are we really define by what surrounding us or are we just adapting to it to a point where the person we become has nothing to do with the person we could have or would have been in the beginnning. When you look back at things maybe this wasn't the best we could have done.

What's the use of this thinking? Far from me the idea of changing it from the core but maybe by understanding what we were meant to be we can figure out a way to bring the anger level down a little... you know just a little more soft, sweet and happy... No yelling, no anger, no fight... ''Imagine'' said the other guy!

Stress and people.

Where to start? In this movemented life I feel like everybody is just trying to reach stability. Just like a sailor who loves the sea for the same reason he hates the storm. While i feel the stress slowly surrounding me, I feel the old habit of a exhausted reaction. When is it you become free of mind in life? What is it that make everybody care about little things. Of course things are different for everybody, I mean something very unimportant for someone can be the end of the world for another, but why? What is it that make people so involve emotionally in stuff they don't control and make them completly oblivious to what they can actually have an impact on or make a difference for. If a wall is blocking your way banging on it won't change the fact that you are block, going around it or if you can't plainly get the equipment to go true it will have an impact. I see life the same way, sometimes I see people banging their head on problem that cannot be solved, not because there is no solution but because the solution is just not thinking about it but going around it. I guess that's why I claim I'm a very relaxed person (hopefully). With the flaws that go with it I never see what the big deal is about anything. For me everything in your way is just a new path and I trully beleive new path are something to be gratefull for and not pissed about. Lessons we learned never come from the expected but from the unexpected and I guess I just like to learn more than others, or I accept that to learn I have to be put out of my way, out of a comfort zone. I don't know...

percute

toujours sur moi cette pression
celle d'une malsaine competition
faut toujours performer
si on veut s'illustre

avec le sourrire
sans jamais s'en tarrir
le devoir d'atteindre les honneurs
seulements en etant plus en hauteur

et pendant que mon corps s'execute
ma conscience dans ma tete percute
l'esprit attirer vers dautres horizons
mais je perd la raison...