dernier soupir

Et le silence inquiétant
Qui pèse sur nous
dans la pénombre de nos non-dits
je vois nos âmes mourrir

Et moi qui te veux tant!
Te sauvé au moins sinon t'aimé
Comment faire pour te rescapé
de ce que toi même tu t'inflige

Dans ma prose je vois la vérité
que dans ma vie j'essais de cacher
Et j'essais encore en vain de t'aimé
Toi ma douce dulcinée

Et mes promesses qui pèse
Et mes désirs qui m'alourdisse
Je vois en moi l'échec
d'être ce que j'ai toujours voulu

Je mourrai peu être
Toujours cette question en tête
Quel sera le nom
qui glissera de mes lèvres dans mon dernier soupir?

variation of the spleen (again)

This spleen even in hapiness that never leave me
Forever, I guess, it will be part of me
This state of mind like a light rain at night
Like this beautifull paint with something not right

Ain't it funny that joy can be found in tears
That sometimes, the best way to smile is being stoic
From that deep place where no light ever shine
The biggest ray of sun can emane

Living body in a world not mine
For a head living in a time not now
Heart trapped in between those two
How can you ever feel not blue

Big high's for big low's
No middle for it's worthless
Being stable is not for me
I am born to be extreme

Quiet night of sleepless tought
Loud day's of sleeping conscience
I live in my head
In this spleen that make me beat

Judging

It come easy and without premiditation. It's a big trait of our society, judging everything and anything just for the sake of it, for the sake of talking. I know half of the time people mean well but what is trully hapenning in their mind isn't something good. Missing facts, missing circumstances and also missing neutrality judgement lead to tension. Inevitable all the time for it's the nature of conflict and conflict are created by different judgement. Neutrality is an utopia i'll admit that, does it mean that we shouldn't try to achieve it? I think that with knowing that it's an utopia we as a human race are force (due to our social model) to judge, but why is it so glorious to judge without appeal, so brutally and so irreversibly. I don't get what's so glorious about being sure because let's face it being sure of your judgement means only that your trying to convince yourself. ''She's a bitch, he's an asshole, she's so stupid and he is so arrogant'' No mather what you think of somebody there is always reasons (not excuses) for their behavior. That doesn't you should get along with those people it just mean that not because you don't get along they should fall automatically in the ''insult'' category.

Neutrality is an utopia that we should all try to reach because in the end it's the only way to give the right to the justice.

Imagine

Agressive!

Where does this come from? Why so much violence, in word in gesture. How come these clashes of personality... could it be possible that in that madness of society we forgot something. Is that possible that all the way around we were wrong about our own nature. I keep hearing the human is a social creature, but is it really? Or are we simply too far down the line to remember any other way?

Agressivness the way people fight each other over words, work, politics, religion... If we had to invent all those rules to live together how would it be without the rules and the organization, not talking about anarchy but simply talking about maybe not be so dependent on each other. Are we really define by what surrounding us or are we just adapting to it to a point where the person we become has nothing to do with the person we could have or would have been in the beginnning. When you look back at things maybe this wasn't the best we could have done.

What's the use of this thinking? Far from me the idea of changing it from the core but maybe by understanding what we were meant to be we can figure out a way to bring the anger level down a little... you know just a little more soft, sweet and happy... No yelling, no anger, no fight... ''Imagine'' said the other guy!

Stress and people.

Where to start? In this movemented life I feel like everybody is just trying to reach stability. Just like a sailor who loves the sea for the same reason he hates the storm. While i feel the stress slowly surrounding me, I feel the old habit of a exhausted reaction. When is it you become free of mind in life? What is it that make everybody care about little things. Of course things are different for everybody, I mean something very unimportant for someone can be the end of the world for another, but why? What is it that make people so involve emotionally in stuff they don't control and make them completly oblivious to what they can actually have an impact on or make a difference for. If a wall is blocking your way banging on it won't change the fact that you are block, going around it or if you can't plainly get the equipment to go true it will have an impact. I see life the same way, sometimes I see people banging their head on problem that cannot be solved, not because there is no solution but because the solution is just not thinking about it but going around it. I guess that's why I claim I'm a very relaxed person (hopefully). With the flaws that go with it I never see what the big deal is about anything. For me everything in your way is just a new path and I trully beleive new path are something to be gratefull for and not pissed about. Lessons we learned never come from the expected but from the unexpected and I guess I just like to learn more than others, or I accept that to learn I have to be put out of my way, out of a comfort zone. I don't know...

percute

toujours sur moi cette pression
celle d'une malsaine competition
faut toujours performer
si on veut s'illustre

avec le sourrire
sans jamais s'en tarrir
le devoir d'atteindre les honneurs
seulements en etant plus en hauteur

et pendant que mon corps s'execute
ma conscience dans ma tete percute
l'esprit attirer vers dautres horizons
mais je perd la raison...

remedy to a spleen

"J'apercevais encorela beaute du monde - meme au plus fort de ma detresse, l'ultime chatiment me fut epargner -, mais je me sentais socialement inadequat."

les falsificateurs - antoine bello

remedy to a spleen

what would i not give for this
that ideal of a life i once created in my head
what wouldnt i give for a moment in it
for once not being a dream but a reality

the softness in human
understanding peace and love
in all word and all gesture
were sadness would be a far concept

i for that would give up my life
a country worth fighting for
a ideal bigger than life
universal love... imagine.