Before I left

I was in a room full of emptiness, when I had memories of what once was. Living in a lie is no way to live at all. When I wake up I swore I would remember this. Letting my mind wonder to what conclusion I once reached, I realised I already knew all this, just momentarily forgot it. In order to respect love I had to respect myself... where did I lost this? Where did it became so abstract to me that I forgot about it?

Now i remember, why I once left to come back more balanced, more aware, more focused... And I remember the name I use to whisper in my mind during that time. There it is I remember! I've once waited so long for somebody that I thought the day would never come, why is it so hard now to wait for something i've desired for so long? Desired !?!? Forget it, long for! There's hope in the sky, like always, it's just a mather of looking up instead of looking at the ground. My balance so different then others... i cannot use hapiness as a way to balance myself, i can only use beauty, passion and absolute to feel balance. My mind work in absolute therefore to be balance I have to be able to absolutly feel and not feel at the same time.

I remember thinking why was I bothering? I remember thinking that i already knew the answer even if the answer wasn't available... But could it be that I wasn't ready to deal with the answer in itself? I remember a look so pure I could bait in it! I remember beeing so revolted against so many things and angry at so many people, and then that look that changed it all... Closing my eyes i can still remember the ''click'' in my mind where I understood that sweetness should always prevail over anger, where bliss was a state of consciousness not a state of blind anger or numbness.

I'll see where this is all going... maybe, maybe not... I wish / not.