So many questions

Have I ever really gotten through you? Has my heart ever really stop reaching for you since that fatidic night where I was a puddle of tears on that carpet? What makes a brain go through stuff? I mean not in a functionning way but in a; I don't regret it, kinda way. Is there a place in my mind where I can get free of all these stories we made up for each other?

I'm functionning and im ''normal''. But I feel my mind is some sick patient mumbling the same obsession over and over again. Self destructive much? Self destroyed much? How can I go foward when everything is pulling toward that short lapse of time where I felt the world revolved around your eyes and where my world had nothing more interesting than your soul.

I'll ge through I guess, or i'll tell myself. I will be me again, but after all that time who is me and why am I myself over others? I keep pulling pictures back in my head of what could have in another life... Should I forfeit mine right now?

Well see...

fed up

*this one is a little agressive based on a fed up feeling. Excuse the language

Could I please stop missing you so goddamn much

Can I fucking stop hurting every time I see your smile

Frozen on a digital screen I just can't freaking stop going back too

I am so over this feeling, but so not over you

Where I am now you should be a distant memory

But O know! Are you ever so present

If fucking bugs me every time I see you comment

Even if were not ''friends'' anymore

Because we were always so much more than this

And it bust my balls to be stuck on repeat wishing for a life well never have

For a night that will never come, no mather how many times we fucking promessed

Im fed up restraining my tears that never really stopped after that long drive

You killed me inside and for god knows what reason

I still wander in the memories of our past self

Where, did I was so ever stupid, to beleive our 2 fucked up self would make it!

believe in more

In the void of my wounds
I grew my pain
Groomed it like a child
And started to love it, like it was mine

While the heart bleeds
The head still keep strong
Holding that body of mine
In a all that I can call home

And while you are more and more distant
I still can't forget
The memories of those lips
That use to make me beleive in more

Fall Spleen for M.

Will my heart ever heal
Will it ever move on from this smile of yours
Is there a place where I don't break,
Everytime I look at those eyes.

You've been away for so long
I barely remember you were once mine
But everytime you appear from the smoke
I cry a little like it was yesterday

Were you a visions?
Were you a lie?
I'll never really understand why
You destroyed me so

I don't know you anymore
But my soul still does
And I don't own you anymore
But you still do

Why such a feeling for a broken promess
Why such a longing for everything you
This smile, this touch, this skin
Those lips, i'll never kiss...

void

you slipped away
in the most unusual way
Since then im looking at a void
That was left when we started to avoid

a long line of regrets
goes out with every breath
I'll never find someone like you
because it was never true

everytime i see your face
I melt in tears, filling up the space
that was once our own
wherever we flown

and from this atrocity of a life
to the wish of a wife
you'll be the one who got away
you'll be the one i'll regret always

retourner

La rage frappe le vide

Et le défoulement ne se fait pas

Con/damné a porté ma colère

En moi, fusionnant avec mon être.

Les armes avec lesquelles j'aurais du visé

Ce retourne contre moi

Et la gachette sera quand meme pressé

Et quelqu'un tombera quand meme

tout les mensonges me pèse

Je n'ai jamais voulu

je n'aurais jamais cru

que tu serais ce qui me tuerais.

L'autre

Passion déchu

La flamme ne brule plus

La vague qui me bercait

Fut celle qui me noyait

Je refuse les jours

Les nuits je cours

La musique des vivants

A perdu de son allant

La fleur rose de mon innoncence

Perdu deux fois dans trop d'intense

Je suis mort d'ivresse

Laissé a ma détresse

J'ai trop aimé

Me suis fait trop joué

Le coeur en lambeau

Je vois le tombeau

Noir de paroles

Noir de pensées folle

Je fu détruit

par mon amour d'autrui

hate

it's been a long time since i've felt so much hate

since i've been hurt that much

For a while, comforted in a fake paradise

I guess I forgot about it

Resentment is such an harsh feeling

It's sneaky and always come from behind

But when it bites

It takes everything with it.

Memories, memories, memories

What is it that was so pleasant?

All I remember is what I can't have anymore

And just how much of a lie I lived

Every single one of your smiles

Is a knife cutting me from the inside

Freeing an opaque substance...

Hate filling me up, controlling me and directed at you

I'd rather not have lived our past

It hurt me and broke me

And your not even aware of it

You broke something in me and I hate you for it.

Fall from heaven

Touching heaven

In the cold dark night

Memories of so much light

I'm smitten

While angels keep flying above

Forsaken in those sacred land

My soul can't make amend

Not enough was love

My fall back to reality

When your hand left mine

Broke all the bones in my spine

Can't manage to be happy

Everything reminiscent of you

I gave you all I could in me

Also all I had in me

And now there's nothing I can do

Glorified...

I gave you my heart

I had your nights

I gave you a life

I had a week

When i poured my soul into us

I received a kiss

When I made a life with you

I received doubts

What are your best memories

Were the beginning of our life

In the end the realisation struck me;

I dreamed all this, nothing else then a glorified rebound.

And even then I cannot help

To go back if I was asked too

And i hate myself for wanting you

Wanting so bad the pain you gave me

Where is my past pride?

You left with it!

Where is my joy?

It left when you told me i wasn't enough

I'd like to hate you so bad

But I just can't bring it in me

I have put already too much

Let me be me again...

Ma peine

On me demanda comment était ma peine,

Je répondis que c'était comme si les couleurs étaient retiré de ma vie.

On me demanda quelles sont tes regrets,

Je répondis que c'était ceux que je n'aurais jamais la chance d'avoir.

Brunante

Brunante d'une nuit qui ne fut pas

Puisque je me hante de mon trépas

Et que puisqu'il est sans toi

Je ne me retrouve pas

present

When you say live your life daily

Try to enjoy and be happy

Don't you see

Thats i need you in order to be?

Can't you figure out that i live in the wait

Of the moment you'll finally lift the weight

And finally join me in faith

That our love will reach new height.

All myself is pushing me towards you

Everything is making me fall in love with you

But what's that wait for, except making me blue

Give me hope please, just a few

The church of you

I've never seen a smile like yours

Those lips were a part of heaven to me

A piece of my paradise put on earth so I beleive

And what if I told you, I found faith in you

The meaning of it all, that word faith;

Don't understand, but stay committed,

Get hurt but keeping your hope

Feeling lost and alone, but stay loyal

I remember a time where my head

Was the ruler of my heart

And than my soul, safely, would follow

Now my soul lead and the rest try to keep paste

Never took that big of a jump

The leap of faith, they call it

Please tell me my Goddess is real

I'm not sure I could survive the disillusion

Be my church by your eyes

Be my prayer by your lips

Your body is my temple

In your embrace is where I find the process of the reward.

Prayer to my sweet.

O my sweet the pain is sharp

And you hit me like a dart

Your kisses are an addiction

From wich I could die of passion

Your my best and my worst

The things I wouldn't do to be your first

I wish so bad to live this fantasy

The one we talk and imagine daily

And again you flee my intensity

What if you let me be me? If only!

Cloud come over us again

May our love prevail, amen!

Kingdom

Light shed on a gloomy night

I feel darkness fight

The battles is fixed

And Their will be no miss

As tear reach my eyes

This pain I despise

Comes back so swiftly

The sadness, O so mighty

Blues me to bed my sweet

Your the one who swept me off my feet

I claimed your heart

But you pinched mine like a dart

There is no more energy

For me to try and get free

I surrender my flag to you

For I can't live without you

Be my realm to go back home to,

Be the kingdom for us two.

Bless me with your divine grace

Be the goddess I praise

the text

You took something in me

And I’ll never get it back

Feeling it only in your embrace

Living only in their expectations

And took my heart

On a divine night

Now im just the shelf

That carry it around

I tought i’d never find this again

Swore on myself to never get caught up again

But here it is here I am

Lost in the web of your charms

Destroy me or feed me

I long lost control of me

And while you think and sway

I hurt and love everyday

Who was I kidding

When I left you darling

For me there is no more redemption

It is you who got my attention

I had lost myself in you

Way before I met you

And I’ve been called a fool for this

But I know, it’s you i’ve always missed

Forgive me for loving too much

I can’t help but crave your touch

Never been cast away before

And with you I always want more

Infatuated by the goddess of my dream

Your lips are for me a stream

Where I baith in blissfulness

And wait for your next caress

I’ve hurt you in such a way

Something i’ve never tought i,d have to say

That our life hurt me

That our love is killing me

Unknown path for both of us

We got scared of lust

Our attraction deeper than magic

The ride so hard that i got sick

I’ve unlearned how to be without you

When away uniting again is all I want to do

Life is a game I dare not play

If your not my partner along the way

Please stop pushing me

And finally let us be

Enough with both of our past

Let’s build a future that’s gonna last

Evo.

l'attente légitime
les besoins intimes
Est-ce toi qui me prive
ou moi qui s'ennivre

Je vois ma vie
Je vois la tienne
Ne comprend pas ce qui coule dans mes veines
Cherche le sens de ma vie

Lorsque j'attend
Lorsque loin de toi
Je vois moi
avec le recul je vois mes moments

Ma tête cherche la relation
Mon coeur cherche tes attentes
Et je ne vois ni mes ambitions
Ni d'évolution lente

condamné

Le souvenir de ton sourire
S’éloigne de mon souvenir
Comme le remoue de la mer
Victime de notre laissé faire

Je vois au loin ce que nous fumes
Et mon amour intact que j’assume
Mais toi au large de moi
Est-ce que tu y crois?

Je vis seul dans l’espoir de notre futur
Vivant de ce que jadis nous furs
Mais je vois bien
Quel est notre destin

Pourquoi t’ais-je rencontré
Pourquoi nous sommes nous amouraché?
J’ai mal de ton absence
Et de ta facilité a la distance

J’apprend que je ne suis pas moi
Comment puis-je l’être sans toi
Je fais fausse route
Et mon esprit ce voute

J’ai les papillons des débuts
Dans la nervosité d’y avoir trop crue
Ce qui était l’excitation des premiers instants
Est maintenant celle de la crainte des derniers moments

J’en lise dans cette reflexion
Me confond en erreur et trahis ma passion
Je suis condamné a t’aimer
Et condamné a etre blessé.

spinning

Spinning in this life
When I'd only wish I could stop
Spinning to forget I can't stop
If I do I hurt

Light, darkness
Like an endless reaction
From where I want to kiss you
And all I want is to stop and kiss you

Secrets over secrets
I can't share what I want
Secrets over secrets
Where are you to be one

I need you to be there
But you can't
And I can't
So we spin to forget

But when the tornado finally stop
I hope we will meet
Cuddle and stay immobile
to appreciate the world